At one time or another, we’ve all wished life had a big “Reset” button we could push so we could just start over with a clean slate. Maybe your credit card bills are piling up; your partner is a bitch; you’re about to be convicted of a crime; or you just want to run off with your mistress. Whatever the reason, the end goal is the same: to get the hell away from your current life and start a new one.
Well, I have some good news and some bad news …

Did you know Chicago has a law that forbids eating in a place that’s on fire? Have you heard about the law in Mississippi that makes it illegal for a man to seduce a woman by lying to her and claiming he will marry her (damn! There goes my pickup line if I’m ever in Mississippi)? In New Jersey, it’s illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder (whether or not the murder is illegal, who knows?).
These are just some of the dumb laws still on the books …

In church, they used to always talk about how the kids of the preachers were always the worst. They were always the ones getting drunk, doing drugs, knocking up chicks (or if they’re girls, getting pregnant), etc.
Well, it appears the same concept applies to the children of politicians. While they’re out making the laws, their kids are out breaking them. And most times, they don’t get punished because daddy or mommy is a big shot politician with some pull.

Calling 911 usually isn’t a laughing matter. When a 911 call is made, it usually means someone’s life is in danger and emergency response is needed. Usually. Every once in a while, a 911 dispatcher will receive a call that’s so bizarre and so unexpected that it ends up on the news because you just can’t help but laugh at it.
In a job full of misery and stress, these LOL-worthy calls have to make being a 911 operator a little easier.
1. Give me a ride to the liquor store—I’ve been drunk, …

Celebrities getting lippy on collagen are increasingly common these days. One would think that lips the thickness of a breakfast wiener would be a career ender for the pampered women of Tinseltown, which would have them screaming into the phone at their plastic surgeon for a fix. Totally not so.
An over-sized puss that curves downward creating a fishy look, or one that protrudes outward to resemble a duck bill, is all the rage.